Border seen from Space

North Paddistan (a small corrupt protectorate on the European periphery) has released satellite pictures which they claim prove its border with South Paddistan is ‘so clear as to be visible from space’.

So far, there has been no response to this bombshell from the Fenian Failure Junta south of the border. Attempts to contact the office of 'An Taoiseach' in his bunker or his local have so far proved unsuccessful. (Although we did apparently 'just miss him' when we rang the pub.)

Brrrrrrr.....

The pictures, released earlier this week by Her Majesty’s North Paddistan Information Directorate, show a snow-shrouded Paddistan but they also show a clear border between the northern and southern parts of the beleaguered island.

At the press conference, the media were not invited to inspect the pictures too closely as it would hold up the free drinks reception.

But when pressed by a journalist as to why said border was not at all visible in most parts of the rolling Paddistani countryside or in any appreciable difference in quality of life on either side, North Paddistani press officer Sandy ‘Winston Churchill’ McCallum had this to say: “Look, the evidence speaks for itself; we don’t want to get infected with whatever economic foot and mouth them’uns south of the border has. The drinks tent is over here lads....”

Comments

Down a Rabbit-Hole

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Seán Flynn. I'm 56 years old and I have been a front-line paramedic with the London Ambulance Service in the East End for the past seven years. It's a job I love and, by and large, it's the happiest I've been in a long and varied working life. I am also an accredited GAA (Gaelic Athletic Association) coach with enhanced DBS clearance; both as a coach and as a registered clinician. I recently travelled to the West Bank in order to coach three teams in the territory under the aegis of GAA Palestine, introducing the children to Gaelic football. I was lucky enough to travel first to South Bethlehem, then to the Al Am'ari Refugee Camp in Ramallah and then on to Qabatya in Jenin. It's important to note at this point however that the individual with whom I was initially due to travel, pulled out on the morning of the trip as the result of a cancelled connecting flight; leaving me to fly out on my own. As a consequ...

Never thought my life would be like this

When I wake up on a work day (it doesn't matter whether it's early or late), I get on station and figure out which truck I'm on; there's a screen in the mess room that shows the fleet number – my truck – beside mine and my crewmate's names and our call-sign for the shift. I go to the key safe, use the appropriate code and take out the keys matching the fleet number (assuming that the keys don't belong to a truck still out on the road). Then I go to the drugs room, using my ID card to gain entrance. Inside, I use a specially allocated smart key to gain access to the drugs lockers to take out my meds for the shift. I then have to separately access another safe to get my morphine ampoules which I have to sign out and have witnessed. I also have to ensure that the numbers between the book and safe tally before closing the safe. So once I have my drugs, I go back to my truck and start to check it over. Engine, and all lights (incl. hazards and blues) on for a wal...

A Deptford Particular

Earlier this month and for the last time, I trained at the Lord Clyde Boxing Gym in Deptford. When it closed, I lost one of my favourite places in all of London. The gym at the ‘Clyde shut its doors after a protracted legal battle that had initially seen the plucky little boozer successfully challenge the developers’ plans. Landlord Rory McInally brought together a wide coalition to oppose the move. But the developers have since hit back and have succeeded in their objections to the gym’s continued use. This was a place where local kids boxed for free, trained and supervised by former professional boxers fer chrissakes. Plans had even been afoot to revive the Cuban-style outdoor gym in the backyard for the Summer months. While we’re not always the biggest fans of the police on these pages we do acknowledge that those officers who have any interest in building community relations have always traditionally recognised the value of local boxing gyms and the ‘Clyde had ...

The Rusty Wire Service

Search This Blog