A Slice of Flann's yer only man

Myles of the little horses

The Catechism of Cliché

What is a bad thing worse than?

Useless.

What can one do with fierce resistance?

Offer it.

But if one puts fierce resistance, in what direction does one put it?

Up.

In which hood is a person who expects money to fall out of the sky?

Second child.

If a thing is fraught, with what is it fraught?

The gravest consequences.

What does one sometimes have it on?

The most unimpeachable authority.

What is the only thing one can wax?

Eloquent.

Yes, More of It....

What happens to blows at a council meeting?

It looks as if they might be exchanged.

What does pandemonium do?

It breaks loose.

Describe its subsequent dominion.

It reigns.

How are allegations dealt with?

They are denied.

Yes, but then you are weakening, Sir. Come now, how are they denied?

Hotly.

What is the behaviour of a heated altercation?

It follows.

What happens to order?

It is restored.

Alternatively, in what does the meeting break up?

Disorder.

What does the meeting do in disorder?

Breaks up.

In what direction does the meeting break in disorder?

Up.

In what direction should I shut?

Up.

Dead English

When things are few, what also are they?

Far between.

What are stocks of fuel doing when they are low?

Running.

How low are they running?

Dangerously.

What does one do with a suggestion?

One throws it out.

For what does one throw a suggestion out?

For what it may be worth.

What else can be thrown out?

A hint.

In addition to hurling a hint on such lateral trajectory, what other not unviolent action can be taken with it?

It can be dropped.

What else is sometimes dropped?

The subject.

Comments

Never thought my life would be like this

When I wake up on a work day (it doesn't matter whether it's early or late), I get on station and figure out which truck I'm on; there's a screen in the mess room that shows the fleet number – my truck – beside mine and my crewmate's names and our call-sign for the shift. I go to the key safe, use the appropriate code and take out the keys matching the fleet number (assuming that the keys don't belong to a truck still out on the road). Then I go to the drugs room, using my ID card to gain entrance. Inside, I use a specially allocated smart key to gain access to the drugs lockers to take out my meds for the shift. I then have to separately access another safe to get my morphine ampoules which I have to sign out and have witnessed. I also have to ensure that the numbers between the book and safe tally before closing the safe. So once I have my drugs, I go back to my truck and start to check it over. Engine, and all lights (incl. hazards and blues) on for a wal...

A Deptford Particular

Earlier this month and for the last time, I trained at the Lord Clyde Boxing Gym in Deptford. When it closed, I lost one of my favourite places in all of London. The gym at the ‘Clyde shut its doors after a protracted legal battle that had initially seen the plucky little boozer successfully challenge the developers’ plans. Landlord Rory McInally brought together a wide coalition to oppose the move. But the developers have since hit back and have succeeded in their objections to the gym’s continued use. This was a place where local kids boxed for free, trained and supervised by former professional boxers fer chrissakes. Plans had even been afoot to revive the Cuban-style outdoor gym in the backyard for the Summer months. While we’re not always the biggest fans of the police on these pages we do acknowledge that those officers who have any interest in building community relations have always traditionally recognised the value of local boxing gyms and the ‘Clyde had ...

Down a Rabbit-Hole

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Seán Flynn. I'm 56 years old and I have been a front-line paramedic with the London Ambulance Service in the East End for the past seven years. It's a job I love and, by and large, it's the happiest I've been in a long and varied working life. I am also an accredited GAA (Gaelic Athletic Association) coach with enhanced DBS clearance; both as a coach and as a registered clinician. I recently travelled to the West Bank in order to coach three teams in the territory under the aegis of GAA Palestine, introducing the children to Gaelic football. I was lucky enough to travel first to South Bethlehem, then to the Al Am'ari Refugee Camp in Ramallah and then on to Qabatya in Jenin. It's important to note at this point however that the individual with whom I was initially due to travel, pulled out on the morning of the trip as the result of a cancelled connecting flight; leaving me to fly out on my own. As a consequ...

The Rusty Wire Service

Search This Blog